Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Listen hard to my advice

I listen to audio books when I drive to work. I have some advice before you take on this addiction.

You must have an ability to compose yourself quickly.  For instance, just as we entered the school gates one morning, The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas ended in the tragic way the Boy in the Striped Pyjamas ends (no spoilers here).  Witness me and two teenage girls with tears streaming down our faces.  (Teenage boy commenting it would be funny if they all got up and were zombies. Let’s not go there.)

Arriving at work red eyed can cause concern and worry for your workmates. Compose yourself.

You must have patience. When you arrive in the work car park, you have arrived.  It does not matter if Henry, clutching his knife wounds, is reaching for the door, the taxidermist hot on his heels.  You will have to switch off the engine and switch off the iPod.  People do not trust car park loiters. 

You will spend the whole day wondering, but you will have to wait patiently till clock off.

Keep your eyes on the road.  You are not inhaling the scent of chocolate in a French village. You are not a boy vampire sucking the blood from your friend’s knee. You are not running from a herd of strange genetically modified creatures.

You are, and never forget this, driving a car.

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